Rewind to January 1.
The ball drops in Times Square.
You order the cutest planner from Target pickup. Tabs, checklists, goal trackers — everything a go-getter could want.
You sit down with a pen — not pencil, because this year you are committed.
You map out everything from career goals to personal milestones, daily macros to weekly routines.
You are determined. Fresh start, next level energy. High standards.
This. Is. The. Year.
Fast forward to February 1.
You feel frustrated. Maybe even embarrassed.
The momentum has faded, motivation just a glimmer.
Your goals feel heavy. The planner isn’t nearly as exciting as it was.
That perfectly curated New Year’s resolution sit down session you had?
It. Didn’t. Work.
And I’m not surprised.
Because habits aren’t born from the thin air January breathes into us.
And behavior change certainly is not dictated by a calendar flip.
The problem isn’t your ambition.
It’s the mindset we bring into the New Year.
The Four Mindsets That [Loudly] Set Us Up to Fail
1. “Out with the Old, In with the New”
We aren’t talking about tossing expired pantry items.
Starting from scratch sounds powerful — but in real life, it’s rarely sustainable.
You don’t need to throw out everything about yourself to improve. Most of the “old ingredients” in your life still hold value.
They may just need adjusting. Refining. Realigning.
Because growth is not demolition. Think of it more as a recalibration.
So whatever you do, don’t start over.
Just build smarter with what you already have.
2. “New Year, New Me”
Ohhh boy, now we lit the fire. This one sounds real empowering.
But underneath it? It is a quiet insult waiting to implode.
This mindset suggests the last year version of you wasn’t good enough.
Were there things to improve? Of course. (I’m raising my hand, too)
But needing growth does not mean needing replacement.
You don’t need a new identity.
You need alignment — and I’ll keep saying it until you actually believe it.
There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing to ‘fix’ about you.
There may simply be parts of you locked, loaded & ready to evolve.
3. “As Many Goals As Possible”
Have you ever told your kids “One thing at a time?” Because their chaos is not just recognizable, but palpable.
Guess what? The same is true for us adults.
Too many goals create noise.
Noise creates overwhelm.
Overwhelm creates shutdown.
And shutdown gets us absolutely nowhere.
The moral of the story is that willpower alone doesn’t help you just dig deeper – it’s leads you into a dead end.
Progress requires a focus of narrowing in, not stacking up.
4. “Add to Cart”
Supplements. Storage bins. New workout clothes. Another health program.
We convince ourselves the missing piece is something we can purchase.
But no product can hold up a life that doesn’t yet have a foundation.
New tools are powerful, don’t get me wrong. It’s exactly how I talk about organization, as a necessary and impactful tool in our lives.
But the tools only work if paired with habit formation and a growth mindset.
Until then, these tools just heavier things to carry.
(And a lot more expensive.)
So What Do You Do Instead?
Let’s cut right to the chase, shall we?
You start with you.
Not the planner.
Not the bins.
Not the challenge.
You.
Instead of letting your thoughts swirl in your head, write them down.
Seeing your desires on paper gives them weight. It forces clarity.
Instead of chasing another “how-to,” invest time in understanding your why. Behavior change is not magic. It is science. Learn it. Respect it. Work with it. And READ it – Atomic Habits by James Clear – you can thank me later.
Instead of isolating yourself in frustration, choose intentional support. Not algorithm-fed inspiration — real, chosen community. The kind that knows your name and holds you accountable.
And finally —
Instead of constantly measuring your life against what you haven’t accomplished, fill it with what you can do now.
Choose you.
Choosing you might mean:
- Protecting your time. — lock the door & don’t look back
- Redefining success. — washing your hair today might be it
- Prioritizing your health. — prep the damn chicken
- Investing in therapy. — together or by yourself
- Building new rhythms. — just take the first step
- Letting go of guilt. — you are good enough
- Saying no. — and don’t explain it
- Saying yes. — take the girls’ trip
It will look different for everyone. And even change day-to-day.
But the principle is the same:
You make yourself the priority — not in a selfish way, but in a foundational way.
Because nothing changes until you do.
Remember, you can try to read all the lists.
Join all those challenges.
Buy all the pretty planners.
But none of it matters if you skip the first step.
The first step that was never January 1.
It is always you.
Choose you.
And watch you live the best year yet.
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