A New Life Balance

As I navigate this new path of writing and coaching, of pursuing an opportunity in which I’ve been anxiously waiting to step on the gas pedal, I can’t help but to reluctantly slam on the breaks. 

My comfort has been home. My kids, my role as a wife, my “job” to take care of all things calendar, our house, and the daily living that makes my family go round. 

I have our circle of life running as smooth as they come. Four tiny humans, 7 years and under, is not for the faint of heart, and most days I can proudly say I manage them flawlessly (other days, I’m proud just to keep them alive). Round and round. And round again we always go…

But what I’ve come to realize in the last couple years is this: what is smooth for everyone else, is not for me anymore. I drive my family, literally and figuratively, to exactly where everyone needs to be. The days are predictable, the routes are routine. Any rock in the road is picked up by me and we all continue on our way per usual. We are beyond fortunate to be on this ride together and for that, I am and will forever be grateful for. 

But here’s the thing. I’m tired of driving in circles.  Of the same beginning and end, the same mornings and evenings sandwiched with a little afternoon variety. Groundhog Day, if you will. Over and over again. 

I’m ready for a detour. But, how? When? Where? 

There’s no exit ramp from motherhood. That my friends, is a closed circuit.

Or is it?

I don’t want my stereotypical SAHM circle- making my kid’s every meal, attending their awkwardly timed 1pm activities, jumping on the trampoline outside in our pajamas before tucking them in sweaty & gross- to end. That’s not my point. But what I do want, is the beauty of an open road. 

To break the picture perfect circle, unraveling it into a messy, winding space for adventures and possibilities.

Newsflash: committing to that ‘under construction’ sign while I build this new road? It is HARD. 

It’s a road not only less traveled, but frankly never traveled by me. To pursue what I know I want, I need, from a professional (and equally) personal standpoint of growth, can be more intimidating than I’d like to admit. I’m doing this willingly, yet I’m throwing up every “caution” sign possible at every turn. 

The balancing act of these two lanes is no joke.

To set the cruise control on the old while intentionally passing into the new… All the while, keeping my kids happy in the backseat… But keeping my eyes forward on the road, both hands on the wheel… Also, setting the navigation system so I know which way to go… Have I mentioned yet that balance is HARD?

I wish I had the answer. I wish I could build the future while not disrupting the current. 

But the truth is, there is no right or wrong. There is only a forward, and there will most certainly be challenges along the way. 

If the speed limit gets too fast, I can lay down a speed bump. If the road becomes over taken with pot holes, I can fill them in the order I need to and avoid the rest as I see fit. Most importantly, if conditions get too foggy, I know how to exit. Detour. I’m in the driver’s seat. I’m in complete control of this road.

And those angry little passengers sitting behind me? The fact that I am doing this for ME, means I love them all that much more. It makes me a better Mom.. and wife.. and driver.

I can do this. You can do this. WE can do this. 

Because the beauty isn’t just in the open road.

It’s that I will always have the choice on whether to step on the gas or hover the break.

On which day, to which hour, over which minute. 

This is balance. 

Buckle up & enjoy the ride. 

Until next time❤️